White boys go to the movies

  

 

Jaipur

 

We got to a point, naturally, where we didn’t want to wander around any more forts, and with a day or so to spare, we needed ways to kill time. What better way to do that than go to the movies?

 

“Is the movie theatre in Jaipur the biggest,” asks Swags.

 

“No,” Rishi says, “it’s the best.”

 

Okay, so it’s not the biggest, but it’s the best. We’ll settle for that! We wander the streets, dine on some food from a street cart, and wait for the movie. The theatre is relatively quiet by India standards (about 100 people), and we make a way to ‘Diamond Box’ – the highest booth in the theatre, looking down over all the commoners. The theatre itself looks like one out of a 1950s American movie. It can seat about 300 or 400 people, has long red curtains down either side of the theatre walls, has gold railing, and is very dimly let.

 

 

The movie begins, and from there, just like the streets, the assault of the senses begins. The music is loud, the action is big, and the stars are classic. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the movie is in Hindu (with no subtitles)!

 

The plot goes something like this: Indian boy’s father kills himself after ‘The Great Indian Circus’ is shut-down by greedy American bankers. Boy grows up, moves to Chicago, and exacts revenge by robbing banks in spectacular style (money reigning from the sky’s, running down the sides of buildings), and staging miraculous getaways on his multi-dimensional motorcycle. Uses money to fund the rejuvenated “The Great India Circus.” Enter female love interest, who looks like a nerd, but  who is actually stunningly beautiful and a talented singer and dancer. Circus gets ready for opening night. Enter alpha-male police man (“Mumbai’s top policeman”) and trusty comic-relief sidekick. Confrontation ensues, with cop quickly working out who the culprit is. Set trap. Trap fails, cop is fired. Cop goes rogue and discovers…

 

**Contains spoilers**

 

Boy from “The Great Indian Circus” was actually a twin, and getaways are thus elaborate mazes of deceit and trickery. And, one of the bothers is ‘special’ but an ultra-talented performer who has fallen for the female love interest. Cop befriends the ‘special’ brother to get at the more ruthless, conniving brother, thus setting up the climatic chase scene. Final bank robbery is successful and the brothers getaway (in a magical rocket-powered-connected-motorcycle scene) only for the movie to randomly switch to a giant hyrdo dam, with all the key characters in place (“I need a chopper and a S.W.A.T. team”). The ‘normal’ brother makes a deal with the cop to take him into custody and let the ‘special’ brother go, but then pinwheels off the damn ledge, only to be caught by the special brother, reinacting a key childhood moment, and eventually letting go and having them both fall to their death, looking at each other and crying on the way down. It’s really quite touching.
 

 

Relaxing after the movie by getting a shave

 

At this point, everyone in the theatre leaves, even though there’s five minutes or more of the movie to go. And, a guy had a five minute telephone conversation at the exact dramatic climax of the movie!
 

 

Dhoom 3: Something like real life?

 
The movie is everything you can imagine it can be. India takes the best of Hollywood cheesiness – stars walking in slow motion through the smokescreen (amazing cinematography), a stunning lead female, ridiculously catchy Indian action music (played at regular intervals throughout), outrageous stunts, classic good-guy-bad-guy confrontation, random breakouts into singing and dancing, blatant product placement (BMW, Mountain Dew), huge plot holes – and upsizes it for a stimulation prone audience, removes common sense, and adds a dose of the absurd. Classic stuff!

 

It didn’t matter that it was in Hindu – we could follow most of it – aided by the insertion of key lines at the end major dramatic points in the movie. Think, Hindu, Hindu, Hindu, - ‘You won’t get away with this,’ – switch to chase scene. Sit back, enjoy the ride.

 

What a film, what a day. We’re the last ones to leave the theatre.

***

Oh, and just to end the day, here's a random tree in the middle of the road.