Strict diet

The fickle one

Jodhpur

In the heady days of work (gosh, that seems like so long ago), the lads I sat with had an unenviable task. It wasn’t so much a task, so to speak, but rather, something of an endurance test, for they would have to listen to me on a daily, sometimes multiple times throughout the day, fret about my weight.

I got pretty heavy there for a while, but resolved to do something about it, did something about it, and managed to get down to a slim under 80kg (I’m 6”1). This took about three months, and the guys would have to listen to my paranoia about my swollen belly from the lunch I just ate, or the couple of kg’s I put on during a drinking session the previous night. It was agony for them, to hear my fickle proclamations on a day by day basis. At one point, I charted my weight meticulously on a chart so as to monitor my progress.

Choose soup to slim down??

The worst for them was me agreeing to go somewhere ‘fatty’ for lunch, say, McDonalds, then change my mind an hour later, then change back again, and spend the morning in constant conflict as to whether to go to McDonalds or not. On the one hand, it tasted good, was convenient, etc., on the other, I was approximately 600g above my target weight, so no fatty food for me. It’s tough being as fickle as I am – but it’s probably tougher listening to someone who is so fickle chopping and changing their mind.

And for a time, I adopted a strict diet, and I left New Zealand in good, trim health, and a physique to rival that of say, Mohammad Ali in his prime.

The king of dumplings

The point of all this is to give the guys some respite from my new reality. Guys – you’d hate it. The three of four crucial ingredients of our trip – buttery, creamy curries, naan bread, beer, and lassi – are probably some of the fattiest things around, and combining them is as lethal as eating pure lard. Get it – India is a battle of the bulge.

You’re supposed to lose weight while travelling. You walk around all day doing activities, it’s hot so you sweat more, you’re not sitting in an office chair for eight or nine hours, and often you just skip lunch and that sort of thing.

We three kings

And usually, when you put on a kilo or two, you hit the gym, and eat a bit less. Problem here: there are no gyms around, and if you’re not eating, you’re not enjoying the ‘culture’ and if you can find a way to escape the breakfast-activity-lunch-activity-dinner-activity pattern of travel, you’re doing extraordinarily well.

So far I’ve kept it under control, but save for a severe sickness (use your imagination), I’m think I’m going to leave India in worse shape than I arrived.

Western food always looks better on the menu

But that’s okay. At the least the guys are free from my proclamations, and the eating hasn’t stopped, so I am enjoying the culture. Perhaps only a sickness can save me now.

Vegetables...hmmm, naaahhhh